1986

He's coming to this world
Without a hand to catch
Sneezes softly
In his blanket
Oh what a simple face
Woven softly in the womb
I saw it happening
I saw his eyes go brown
When his fingers formed
I already knew the words
They would form
Oh so many words

Now he's here with me
I think him as I bleed
Along with many others
And all their suffering
I breathe in lust
For he could not take it
Even in his dreams
He cannot bear this weight
So I must go
And take my place
Trusting in my Father
He'll find what this is for

I died for him
I died for Christopher

2008

Hey!
Oh how I have hoped for you
How's it going?
My God, you're so beautiful
You want to see my house?
I can't stop staring at you
Have a seat, I'll get some drinks.
Maybe wait to start the movie
Sorry no one else is here.
More room on the couch for us
I can't believe you haven't seen this!
I want to hold your hand
"It's goddamn freezing on this beach!"
I want to hold your hand
"I don't constantly talk!"
I want to hold your hand
"I'm just...happy. I've never felt that before."
I just want to hold your hand
Do you need to go?
Please don't go. Please not yet!
I'll see you later
I'll call tomorrow, okay?
Bye...
...sweet heart

2005-2006

People passing
Pushing pencils
Advertising
Halving prices
Here it goes
I missed the war
But pay the price
In solid oil

The city's cold
Clean, fresh snow
I bite my lip
Hold my tongue
Fashion, fashion
For Monday's ration
My clothes are old
I'm still alone

"Can we go?"
I ask the air
But no one's home,
No one's home.
I feel a chill
My tongue is froze
Leave me alone
No one's home.

2003

What were you doing
Running through the grass
Flutter through the reeds
Bring the leaves to sand
Bring our ships to solid land
And ride the waves to shore
Follow down the path
Look off into evermore

We sink and slip and laugh
Until our faces hurt too hard
And inhale a salty gasp
We forgot we'd lost our breath
Kiss with tiny little rocks
Sticking cross our cracking lips
Brushing grains off sandy cheeks
When yours are meeting mine

I brought a picnic lunch!

2004

All along the wispy mountain
Breathing, awkward peasants
Laying down the boards
Marking our defenses
The walls are made of stone
International intestines
A head and heart of white
And pillars praying on

Where now are the rafters?
The trees have but to come
Crashing - crashing down
To break their hold on us
May sun rise wet with lightness
And scent caress the morn'
The rain will pour for hours
But dryness bursts the doors

We have but our whispers
And tales to entertain
But what if stories, ever boring
Could walk, and talk, and play?
What's left among the legacy
It's lasting past the rocks
The feet that fill the weaves and will
Of double layered socks

Two of Three

Dismal satisfaction
To pant at unknown chance
It breathes down my neck
Feel such lack of emptiness
Warmth and light
Cloak and dark
Dampening our skin
Finger floating larks

Backseat regards
To lightly graze your skin
Playful banters cross our cheeks
They tickle deep within
Talk of night
Time and space
The frothy summer air
Humbled resting place

It washed over me
I could not lift my lips
Though I think it's safe to say
I've never felt like this
So soon, so safe
So lost in her eyes
A passionate mystery
I cannot even describe

2002

The window fog is cold
I breathe a frosty scar
Mistaking the speedometer
As brilliant as the stars
The road we ride is humming
My forehead on the glass
Every bump is shaking
The landmarks that we pass

I smile; don't forget to think
This time goes much to fast
Enjoying trips from place to place
Just doesn't seem to last
Yet in a haze I slip away
And forget that I am dreaming
All the people working hard
Whiz by while I am sleeping

1999-2000

Bows and tied
Explosions in the sky
We fly for hours
There are ripples in the water
Smoke in our eyes
The fire got put out
We'll do it all again
Several years from now

Dancing light
We're lovers wrapped in arms
My hands are mine
You can have them for tonight
Gloves hugging railing
Icy stairs to evermore
We hug and hold together
And wait for dawn to break...

...

I awake outside my kitchen
My house is quiet now
We're all just sitting 'round
No one holds their breath
Not a song to sing
The lights will be alright
We won't need so much shelf space
We don't need all this bread

The celebration's lifting
But it's anywhere but here
Except for in my head
It seems it's only there for me
At least that's what I fear
Lift a glass for reason
There won't be time for doubt
For the rest of the century

I fear not.

1998

Here he comes
'A haunting
When my father fell
I saw the blood
'A falling
Eyes raging
I feel the clouds
Collapsing

Sepia world
Dark spots
Speckled on your shirt
Backwards friend
I take my vengeance
Bare-handed
Twisted fate
Your holes are big as mine

1996

Deja vu

An open field
I recognize the feeling
I've seen this place before
There's my bike
Rusted;
I must have left it here
I think this was my home
So many years ago

The parking lot is worn
Gravel strewn from side to side
But no ferris wheel
Or anything resembling
Lions
Why do I remember...lions?
Bricks that held up cars
Lines devoid of clothing

The pathway crawls
Same as it always has
I remember all the contours
And potholes 'long the way
Quiet
The clicks of insects
And rituals of rodents
Pervade the humble valley

The house in rubble
A note left standing orders
"Keep it in the family
And resurrect the swing"
Running
Like water by the road
I never want to come back
This place is far too real

2001

Our pasts are slowly fading
Gather up your memories
Before they disappear
Gone forever
They wipe away like magnets
Over videotape
Shuffle through their remnants
Hands on your floppy disks

Three and a quarter
Used to seem expensive
Terabytes impossible to fill
The garbage without end
Our brains are bottomless
But we brush bodies away
Hoof under foot
While we secret eternity

The blood continues
It circles the world
And we fly it international
Clogging our skyscraper arteries
Nations hemorrhage; lamentation
Cancer selling for hundreds a barrel
We’re like patrons in a movie
Calling for the ending

All we want is an answer
With every carbon exhale
We breathe away our time
And chew what’s left of others’
The places to hide our shame
Have all but gone
Slowly fading memories
Where everything was better

1995

Forever high rise
Turning tables
A rotating room
Fixed glasses
My eyes are watering
But all I see are mirrors
Little wooden houses
Sliding up and down
The windows are broken
Tiny hands, big buttons
Elevators
Shimmy and shake
On their way down
The everlasting shaft
But no one hears us
Tumbling through

Blood on the shatter
Glass in my hands
There's no way out
They're watching for us
Waiting by the doors
Clobbering children
I make for the stairs
It won't be long now
The banisters are wet
It's cold and hard and dim
I push from the wall
Enabling my descent
The building is cracking
The mold is in decay
The carpet floor is burning
All the orphans ran away

1994

Eighty-thousand feet
To the surface
Glass encases every way out
My lungs are bloated
Struggling to breathe
Twenty-thousand leagues
Into the darkness
Underneath me

Where is the air?
It escapes my every inhale
Yet I float about this distant world
Right out my backdoor
Why haven't the sharks come?
Fins cutting towards me
Teeth shattering in my bones
This will be my end

Surely, surely
The waves will wallow over me
Drowning, drowning
Indefinitely
Lonely sea creatures
Softly gliding by
I reach out my hand
They never take me with them

It's quiet.

1993

Seven
The numbers I count
In the darkness
Three from your clock
Four from mine
It's twelve fifty-nine
From my side
It's way past our bedtime

From our beds
Through tonight
To harrowed hums
Florescent lights
We glide again
On and on
In our socks
Without our shoes

We're so quiet
Not a stir
Raising no alarm
For any intruder
The basement is soft
I can feel it breathing
Hush now, boy
A ghost is approaching

Down the steps
I see her walking
Not a shriek
Or even haunting
She is silent
Moving slowly
Subtle beauty
A fragile frame

Her hand extends
And points me to bed
I shake my head
"Please, not yet."
She smiles at me
And nods accordingly
So off I huff
Back to the bedroom

I tuck myself in
My sister still sleeping
I swore I just saw her
Up and about-ing
Sliding there with me
Round through the doorways
But not back to bed..
"Go back to sleep,"

She says.
Have I been dreaming?

1992

We have sprouted wings
Flying high over the suburban city
These are our adventures
Our vacation get-aways
We're just trying so hard
Trying to
Get, get, get
Out of our atmos

Fear
As it relates to dreams
Is always about us
While we break all the rules
And recreate the galaxies
It complicates our subversions
Desimates our confidence
With little warning or notice

"I'm afraid we might fall,"
I say, and likewise we did
Back to the Earth below
To the confines of space and gravity
But she is still smiling
Knowing soon we will forget
And come back up
Swinging

My Father

He has a long nose
He lowers His head
And nuzzles my hair
My Father
I smile up at Him
Tears of joy; the rain
I am cooled; Yahweh
He kisses my forehead
His hands at my chest
I feel Him
Dancing deep within
My heart; Emmanuel

1987

Ocean liner
Play mobile
Spinning wheels
This is my nightmare
I slip into the picture
Can't swim
Gasping for air
She blows her horn
Dragging through the sea
Oh me, oh my
I'm being smothered
She screams, I scream
He's pulling me in
Up out of my bed
It's so cold, so dark
But my father's touch is warm
He kisses my forehead
I pant and cough up nothing
Thinking,
"I don't want to die,"
Whatever that means.

1997

The tracks are disconnected
But my cerebellum's still online
The coaster cars are bouncing
Back and forth, up and down
Sweeping, interlocking, ever-growing
The towers seem so high
My eyes behold the infinity
As we glide to and fro

I run through the queue
Back for another run
But suddenly I lose my way
"How do we get back?"
I say, flabbergasted
But all my friends are moving on
They're done with playtime
Getting back into their cars

"Well I don't want to leave,"
I protest, even if I have to pay again
The hills and footpaths seem eternal
A maze of popcorn; funnel cake
The people here are spinning
Everything moving faster than me
I desperately want to get back on
But I cannot find my footing

"Why did I ever get off
In the first place?"

2007

She's yanking on my hand
And begging me to stop
We're almost downtown now
I'm a stranger in a foreign land
Pulling her by the arm
Dragging her heels
I bring her close
Wrap our arms, shoulder to shoulder
But as I draw her in
For a kiss
She disappears before me
I spin around
But she is nowhere to be found
I cry; what a God-awful feeling

A hush in the dissonance
Shrouded by misery, and hate
Every face a mystery
I've done away with innocence
I rush through the crowd
Perhaps she'll be around
Another ugly corner
I haven't seen before
But all I see are shadows
Alleyways both lost and forgot
And as I draw my breath
For a second
I think I've found my way
And just like that, on the other side
The sun illuminates
My escape.

1991

Spin-dizzy spin doctors
The clouds are hovering over now
I step to look outside my window
It's already here
I gather my belongings, but
They're slip, slip, slipping
Through my fingers
I run, but nothing moves
Padlocks break; the door swings open
Storms cover the sky
Swirling like a milkshake
Here comes the flood.

The twister takes me
Easy like a leaf to the wind
I lose control of my body
Being dragged helplessly
Soaring high above the atmosphere
My company is collapsing
The world is folding over
Silence now, so full of black
Darkness; a hush of calm
Eternity never seemed so real
I think, "This time will be different,
This time I won't wake up."