1987

Ocean liner
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Spinning wheels
This is my nightmare
I slip into the picture
Can't swim
Gasping for air
She blows her horn
Dragging through the sea
Oh me, oh my
I'm being smothered
She screams, I scream
He's pulling me in
Up out of my bed
It's so cold, so dark
But my father's touch is warm
He kisses my forehead
I pant and cough up nothing
Thinking,
"I don't want to die,"
Whatever that means.

1997

The tracks are disconnected
But my cerebellum's still online
The coaster cars are bouncing
Back and forth, up and down
Sweeping, interlocking, ever-growing
The towers seem so high
My eyes behold the infinity
As we glide to and fro

I run through the queue
Back for another run
But suddenly I lose my way
"How do we get back?"
I say, flabbergasted
But all my friends are moving on
They're done with playtime
Getting back into their cars

"Well I don't want to leave,"
I protest, even if I have to pay again
The hills and footpaths seem eternal
A maze of popcorn; funnel cake
The people here are spinning
Everything moving faster than me
I desperately want to get back on
But I cannot find my footing

"Why did I ever get off
In the first place?"

2007

She's yanking on my hand
And begging me to stop
We're almost downtown now
I'm a stranger in a foreign land
Pulling her by the arm
Dragging her heels
I bring her close
Wrap our arms, shoulder to shoulder
But as I draw her in
For a kiss
She disappears before me
I spin around
But she is nowhere to be found
I cry; what a God-awful feeling

A hush in the dissonance
Shrouded by misery, and hate
Every face a mystery
I've done away with innocence
I rush through the crowd
Perhaps she'll be around
Another ugly corner
I haven't seen before
But all I see are shadows
Alleyways both lost and forgot
And as I draw my breath
For a second
I think I've found my way
And just like that, on the other side
The sun illuminates
My escape.

1991

Spin-dizzy spin doctors
The clouds are hovering over now
I step to look outside my window
It's already here
I gather my belongings, but
They're slip, slip, slipping
Through my fingers
I run, but nothing moves
Padlocks break; the door swings open
Storms cover the sky
Swirling like a milkshake
Here comes the flood.

The twister takes me
Easy like a leaf to the wind
I lose control of my body
Being dragged helplessly
Soaring high above the atmosphere
My company is collapsing
The world is folding over
Silence now, so full of black
Darkness; a hush of calm
Eternity never seemed so real
I think, "This time will be different,
This time I won't wake up."

1990

Where am I?
Hiding underneath my bed
Such convenience; such solitude
Dust pervades my nostrils
The rug is soft, yet rugged
My face is overwhelmed
I turn to face the support boards
Crayons spreading rumors
Of a child's simple romance
How can I be sure?
What I wish for here
May come twenty years from now
What I leave behind
Will be passed along to others
"I don't want to forget,"
I say aloud to no one
Where else will I keep my dreams?
My mind will some day wither
But soon so will these beams
I'll just remember for today
"Maybe they'll come true,"
I whisper,
"Sooner than you think."

1989

Lions in their cages
The field opens as I roll over the horizon
Bristles and thistles all about
The path winds down the hill
My bike is locking up again
The stage is set, the carnival commences
I feel relieved to have arrived
For a second I wonder,
"Was this really my destination?"
But I guess this place seems fitting
I wander past the parking lot
The vast expanse behind me
Amusement to my front
I'm going home.

Lions in their cages
The tree swing tied to rope
The house is boarded up
Cars on their last legs
The wind seems so inviting
I peddle on the wisping plain
The grass bends in my wake
And for a second I wonder,
"Is this really where I'm going?
Nowhere?"
The gears are all tied up
Breaks failed long ago
I roll until I stop, and breathe
This awfully feels like home.

1988

This is not protocol
I'm going to heaven, to the Sheot clouds
To destroy the moon and rip the sky in half
And so I say,
"Why will you not look at me?"
A film of water around his eyes,
"I haven't the slightest clue."
But never have I felt his glance on my back
Even as I fly away
To tear apart the universe
And find where the horizon ends
If not to answer the mysterious,
Then prove that all is unknown
"All is not lost,"
I whisper to the hills,
"And you shall weather this storm until my return."
My Lord! My Lord!
I see a Shepherd in the field
As stars begin to fall
He holds his children in His arms
Walls of water strike the shoreline
Where rock and stone fall from my hands
He is there to stay my blows
And the flock is not undone
Might I stop this cruel bombardment
For no one gains from idle sorrow
None but prove Your infinite grace
My Father! My Father!
Forgive this betrayal of my kin!
Call me "child" once again